Did you ever feel like one of your teachers would make the perfect skit charectar if you threw 'em into an episode of Saturday Night Live? That's how I feel about my trig teacher. Last year w hen I had to get my TI-83 plus calc fixed my math teacher told me to take it to "Mrs. Flank" and she would fix it for me. I took a step back, pondered, and replied, "You mean the lady with the big hair?"
Just then I felt like a smartass, but I was not in the wrong. She had quite the hair. I could almost call it an afro; a big, thick pouffant; a superfluous mass. And this is not the only thing I jest at.
When she goes over lectures she is overly articulate, especially when she comes to words like "the-TA" or "hori-ZON-tal" and sometimes leaves her sounding like an immigrant who has not yet learned the rhythm of our language. Also, sometimes she gets really confused, and when she gets flustered, she turns into the ditzy snort monster, only to later laugh at her own stupidity.
As long as I'm on the subject, have you ever realized that as a generalization, English teachers are always a bit on the eccentric side?
My early world humanities teacher, although always a bit too cheery, would sometimes get off topic and veer into memories of a past life, or how her cat was reincarnated as a splinter. I now sometimes wonder if she ever stops smiling, or if her husband ever filed divorce on her for reason "too damn happy".
Oh, but wait, I've now thought of another perfect example of a stereotypical SNL skit...my later world humanities teach. Now this woman, as I now reminisce, is a psychological phenomenon all in herself. Back when I had her class I used to get frustrated because she never could understand what we would ask her. Maybe she only speaks bulldog, since that's what she reminds me of...or else the snarling, razor-toothed creature Dracula morphs into in the new Bram Stoker version that would knaw on her pen like it was a ham bone.
I remember once when my friend Danielle asked her what pages we were to read for an assignment, and she replied by howling something in bulldog and hurling the book past her head, which she narrowly escaped from head-wound.
In fact, I don't think that for one year I had an English teacher that was even remotely normal. Way back in the day, I remember Ms. Gunther. Many students had been able to avoid this grotesque and melty curse, but I, however, was stuck with her. She was a strikingly odd woman. Her speech impediment, a cross between something of Ms. Piggy, and bulldog, had led the whole student body to beleive she was a hardcore alcoholic, and was in kahoots with the toddler panty-swiping science teacher, who was also extremely...well, creepy, I suppose.
Anyhow, one day when we were watching some movie on Mt. Everest, she took one of the honor roll students out in the hall to have a little chat. 'Apparently' the joke about the bottle of Jimmy in her desk drawer and how she spiked her coffee was out, and she was furious.
"Anna, have you been making jokes about me and alcohol?" But even after Anna wiped the spit off her forehead, she was still speechless. Didn't everyone know? Obviously not she.
So all this leads me to beleive I don't think I'll ever have a human English teacher. Do you beleive in this theory? What is the most non-human beast you've had for a teacher?